Adios Mum

 I was at work one day on my 3rd job when I got a message that my mum had an emergency and had been taken to the hospital. When i got home, I found out that she slipped while getting off a bus and had a dislocation. Eventually, her leg was put in a cast and she managed to use her leg again after a while, but the damage had been done. We found out later that the fall impacted her spine and eventually snowballed into arthritis. From 2010 when it happened, her health slowly deteriorated over the course of the years.
Prior to that time, her health was perfect, she was a superb hustler and independent. It was painful to see her slowly become dependent and need help to do even the basic things. We helplessly watched her wither away like a dying rose, it was sad. She worked as a teacher and I went to drive her home from work when day when her colleague suggested - Ma, why dont you tell this your son to send you to India for medical attention, but she replied the woman and said "my son is doing some projects at the moment, and I dont want to hinder his progress". I had bought properties then and had building projects running, and my mum didnt want that to stop by burdening me to send her to India. In hindsight, I should have spent all that money on her. I mean, I could give away all that I have in Nigeria to see her again, but no amount of money can bring her back now. My dad wasnt even paying attention. I think he could afford to sponsor her medical trip, but he didnt consider her priority.

She had a surgery around 2014 and it went well. At this point, she had stopped work and was at home. Around January 2015, I was sent on a 1-week training from work at my 4th job, and it was a busy period. I would leave the house in the morning and get back home late at night. On one of the nights, I got home late and my mum said "but you were really late tonight.. I waited for you so long in the sitting room but couldnt wait longer so I went into my room"..those were her last words to me. The next day - January 28th, we finished early from the training and I got home around 5pm but I met church members carrying her down the stairs to rush her to the hospital. She could not speak again and her breathing was laboured. I joined them to carry her down the stairs. Foolishly, i still thought it was something minor and that she would return shortly from the hospital. I never knew that she was never coming back.
We should have had premonition tho, but no one knows the time. She had stopped attending church months before then because of her health, but the sunday before she passed, she requested that we took her to church. Apparently, she was saying her goodbyes.
My girlfriend (now wife) was also in the UK for her Msc and they spoke often. The last time they spoke, my mum asked her.."when are you taking me to the UK?". Girlfriend had no premonition that that would be the last time they would speak. However, I had done well by bringing my girlfriend to see my parents since 2010 and they had bonded well over the years.

In the morning the next day, Jan 29th 2015, I went to the hospital and learnt that her condition never improved. To make matters worse, the doctors were on strike and that worsened the situation. At 9am that morning, she left. Within the first hour, I was shell-shocked, i couldnt even cry because it was unbelievable. I saw my dad cry bitterly, and it was a terrible sight. Later when I cried too, i broke down badly. I have only cried twice in as long as I remember - when I got my UK Bsc certificate with a 3rd class, and when my mum died. The sorrow which I felt cannot be described.
I was totally heartbroken, and over the next 1 year, I would wake up in fits at night remembering her. I had no one to share my grief with as my girlfriend was out of the country. Later, she told me that was one of the reasons why she even came back to Nigeria, because she feared that in my moment of grief, I would find comfort in another lady's arms and eventually dump her.
It took a long time for the pain to go away - I think the torment eventually did leave me after we had our 1st son. I learnt a bitter lesson that one's parents will never be around forever, and one should never be too busy to have time for them. I dont think I ever spent any significant amount on my mum, and that realisation still haunts me till this day. Infact, I felt so worthless - the same way that Judas felt after selling Jesus for 30 pieces of silver - that I started spending all the money that I had saved up. I didnt spend unwisely tho, but I splurged on property and almost completed my 1st building project. My biggest side-gig was also terminated at about the same time too, and I needed to find happiness once again, so I was just spending the money.

I miss you mum. You are only memories now, but I am grateful for all the sacrifice 💔🌹.

To end on a happy note, It is my birthday oo, happy birthday to me 😊💃